I puked a lego.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize