By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
BRING THE BAGELS
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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