Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Randomize