so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
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Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
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how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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