does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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