yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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