i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
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E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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