So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize