No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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