just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize