He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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