You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize