Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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