I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
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I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
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Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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