ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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