You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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