Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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