They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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