these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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