so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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