Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize