we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
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I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
We don't watch enough power rangers
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
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I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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