ya dads aren't the best wingmen
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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