She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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