I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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