I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize