her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
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Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
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So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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