only if we run a train.
done.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize