can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize