Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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