he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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