Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Randomize