i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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