I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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