my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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