Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
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Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
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Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
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