Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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