you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize