I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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