$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
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What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
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Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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