I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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