Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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