im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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