Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
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I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
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Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize