There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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