hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
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I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
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Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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