babies were throwing up all over the place
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
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Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
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You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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