not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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