So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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