please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
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It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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